Porn on ESPN

As I watched last night's Boston College vs. Virginia Tech thriller, I couldn't help but find myself wondering if in the midst of reaching for my beer I had sat on the remote and changed the channel to skinamax. There was so much weiner sucking going on from Criag James (fag), Todd Blackledge (fag) and Chris Fowler (a football god - he's excused) I thought we were at the Gay Disneyworld affair. Something tells me BC QB Matt Ryan should check his pants for those guys' lipstick when he wakes up this morning.

The best quote from the 3some (an appropiate word) - following an impressive drive to cut the Tech lead to 10-7, one of the queers in the booth announced "That is the stuff Heisman campaigns are made of." While the statement doesn't look so ridiculous in retrospect (Ryan did lead the improbably comeback), at the time it seemed rather odd. Here was a guy who had played like my left testicle for the better part of 3 and 1/2 quarters (getting sacked, throwing doodoo passes, crapping his pants once, throwing 2 INTs and 0 TDs), and following a drive against a prevent defense leading to a score, the ESPN crew was ready to annoint the 2nd coming. Had Va Tech recovered the ensuing onside kick like they should have, Ryan would be at the bottom of everyone's list for Heisman - tabbed a player who can't win the big one. Tech's inability to fall on the friggin ball allowed Ryan to take the field against a tired defense, and lead the drive for the winning score.

All kudos to Ryan for doing so. But don't subject me to man-porn love for a guy who played a lousy football game up till the last 4:11. If Ryan pulls the Heisman out of his hat, and BC makes it to the title game, they should send thousands of thank you cards to Virginia Tech for blowing a game it had in the bag. At some point, coaches will learn two things in football #1 - You must practice onside kick recovery, regardless of the dangers involved. #2 - Playing prevent defense with a lead is a terrible idea, especially when that lead has been built on constant QB pressure.

As for Stuart Scott and his band of merry queer-os:

I get it ESPN - your offices are in Connecticut. Real close to Boston. You like everything in the northeast quadrant of the country. You really like the Patriots (have we a heard a PEEP about defending Super Bown Champ Indianapolis, the only other undefeated team in the NFL from ESPN). You really like the Red Sox (you almost get the feeling that Sportscenter hosts think it's "cute" the Rockies made it this far). You want to have sex with Matt Ryan (who, by the way, was the 37th rated passer in the country going into last night's game. Not to mention BC has played teams ranked below 70 in BCS Sarisan ratings in 7 of their 8 games - that sounds like an old Notre Dame schedule).