You know what is really annoying? Naming a Saturday. Like ESPN does when it names a day of great college football games “Survival Saturday”, or, as they did back in September, “Separation Saturday”. What the hell is wrong with, “hey, there are some great days on this coming Saturday, let’s get a bunch of libations and enjoy the day”, or, “man, what a great day of games! Can you believe Notre Dame pulled out another nail biter over a really crappy team (again, and again, and again…)? Let’s go get some libations and talk about how cool those games were”
No, instead, we, as the mindless ESPN drones that we are, are force fed really crappy nicknames for the best day of the week. I didn’t really think that the word Saturday needed any dressing up – I mean, most of us don’t have to work as it is, and it might be the only day where our significant others actually believe that, yes, it IS ok to lie around the couch all day and drink too many brewskies.
However, those jackasses at ESPN have to show off their alliteration skills by imposing some stupid gimmicky nickname, instead of just playing some highlights. In light of this, I offer some of my own annoying nicknames for the higherups to consider using in future ESPN events.
Sorry Stuart Scott
Damn Idiot Dan Patrick
Wildy-overplayed World Series of Poker
Spank-monkey SportsCenter
“Tare-uh-bull” Bill Walton
Kiddy Kirk Herbstreet
Lame Lee Corso
See? This gig isn’t all that hard. It didn’t even take me 3 minutes to think of some really crappy nicknames to throw in front of ESPN’s top talent and shows, and WHAM-O, I have now made YOU feel stupider for actually reading the names! That is the feeling I get every time Stuart Scott’s lazy/stoned face looks at me on Saturdays and says, “Booyahaha, got my dogs in check yo, my nizzle fo shizzle with the heezy, got me some of dat Survival gansta lean on Survival Saturday!”
It’s actually annoying. Very annoying. I wish those dingdongs would just report the friggin sports story.
No comments:
Post a Comment