Monday, September 29, 2008

SEC Blowhards

I am done with SEC football. For months, we've heard nothing but how great the teams in the Southestern Conference were the cream of the crop in college football. No more. Following the debalce that was Saturday night in Athens, Georgia, you can't legitimately argue that football in the south dominates the landscape.

SEC apologists have come out of the woodwork following two big losses this week for Georgia and Florida. I've been saying for over 2 years that Urban Meyer and the "vaunted" Gatos were overrated by every college football pundit in the country, and yet again they prove me right. Losing at home to Ole Miss doesn't show how good the SEC depth is - it shows how poor of a coach Meyer is and how overvalued his video game offense remains. Alabama's domination of Georgia was impressive, insofar as the Tide absolutely crushed the favored Bulldogs. Clearly, Alabama is the cream of the crop in the SEC...think about that for a second. ALABAMA? The team everyone thought wasn't good enough to rank to start the season is now the best the SEC has to offer?

But wait, what about LSU? This is the same LSU team that stakes their greatness on a victory at Auburn last week. The same Auburn team that had trouble with a 3-2 victory just 3 weeks ago, and barely escapted against Tennessee this past week (a UT team that got knocked off by UCLA, themselves a victim of a 59-0 thrashing by BYU).

I don't want folks to think the SEC is as bad as the Big 10 or the Pac 10. In fact, in most cases, the SEC would dominate any other conference in head to head matchups. But the reality is, media types have it in their mind that this is the best conference in the country, and are making up whatever excuses they can in order to maintain thier assertation. Reality check - if you say the best team in the SEC is Georgia and Florida, and they both lose at home to teams they should beat, you can't argue that the SEC's best teams are better than other conferences just by switching who your best team from the SEC is. They laid an egg. Deal with it.

On the note of laying an egg - USC's loss to Oregon State dropped them to #9. The Trojans benefitted greatly from 2 things this weekend - the fact that so many other ranked teams lost surely helped keep USC in the top 10. More importantly, the fact that they played on Thursday night surely benefitted them come Monday's polls as well. By the time voting came around, it can only be assumed that voters had all but forgotten the faceplant performed by the Trojans in Corvalis Thursday night in the mayhem of Saturday's upsets. As high profile as the aforementioned Georgia - Alabama game was, it's easy to see how folks can forget just how poorly SC looked late into the evening last Thursday night, and the polls showed it. If you are the #1 team in the country, and you lose to an unranked double digit underdog, you shouldn't get the benefit of the doubt and remain a top - 10 team. Scary, isn't it, how we might actually end up with a USC (11-1) - Ohio State (11-1) rematch for the national championship - nevermind the Rose Bowl. Those records could very well end up pitting the Trojans and the Buckeyes in the rematch no one wants to see.

For my money, the best conference right now is the Big 12. 3 teams in the top 5, 4 in the top 7.

And still, no HD broadcasts from ABC for Big 12 regional broadcasts? Amazing.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Big 12 as wrestlers...

(Ex: Football teams as Potato Chips) I figured I'd try my hand at rolling today's teams as pro wrestlers:

Oklahoma - Hulk Hogan. The hulking giant of the business. When you think of wrestling, Hulkamania should be the first name that comes to mind, with dominant reigns atop and a steady drawing power. Today, can still bring the house down, but shouldn't be considered a top contender until he beats someone of merit.

Texas - Ric Flair. Hogan’s biggest rival, Flair was regarded by many as the superior product on the field - especially by fans of Flair. Despite winning numerous titles, known more for making the careers of others as for making history on his own. Lost as many big game matches as he won.

Texas A&M - Bret Hart. A regional tradition unparrelled in the US (Hart in Canada, TAMU in Texas). Talent exists, but constant whining and claims of being screwed prevent him from making that jump to elite legend status with Hogan and Flair.

Baylor - Brooklyn Brawler. Traditional jobber – in wrestling terms, the guy who would come out on a weekly basis and get pummeled by whoever was in the ring, be the opponent legend or not. Still confounds people as to how he got into the business in the first place.

Oklahoma State - Ted Dibiase. Lots of money (Million Dollar Man for God’s sake) with some success, but at the end of the day, money can’t buy a title. Just ask T. Boone Pickens…

Texas Tech - Flyin' Brian Pillman. Lots of pizzazz and a style to be copied for years to come. High flying, high octane offense, little actual ability in other facets of the sport. When facing opponents of equal talent, comes up short.

Nebraska - BamBam Bigalow. Big, fat, corn fed and husky, Bam Bam led the rush of dominance in the early 80s and 90s. Today, he’s still big, fat, and corn fed, but can’t dominate. Age has taken her toll on his style.

Colorado - Lex Luger. A quick title reign in the 90’s, followed by a few years of looking pretty with no real substance, to a disturbingly rapid fall from grace. Looks damn good, though.

Iowa State - Doink the Clown. Much like the Brooklyn Brawler, except add some laughs into the mix. Occasionally will compete for an irrelevant title (Intercontinental Champion anyone? Is that like winning the Big 12 north?), but won’t make the big jump because at the end of the day, he’s just a, well, clown.

Missouri - John Cena. Some talent, lots of talk, but actual sustaining ability yet to be determined. Been on the scene for a few good years, but we won’t know the lasting effect of recent success until a new crop of challengers appears in the coming years. Critics argue the substance on the field is the product of weak competition, and when forced to play the big boys, comes up lacking.

Kansas - David Arquette. Whoops – this is obscure. Arquette (yes, the actor) won the WCW heavyweight title in late 2000. Like Kansas’s Sugar bowl title of 2007 – a total joke. Received a title shot when apparently everyone wasn’t looking, and got lucky against inferior opponents. Came quickly back down to earth as subpar performer to begin a potential feud with the Brookly Brawler or Doink the Clown.

Kansas State - Rowdy Roddy Piper. In the late 90’s battled for heavyweight titles on regular basis, drawing praise for dominant seasons (nevermind that he was blasting patsies along the way). After losing manager, career fizzled into irrelevance except for the occasional national recognition with a puzzling upset of Hogan or Flair. By the way, he never closed the deal and won the World Title...

Updated Top 10

Well crap. Stupid USC. The Pac 10 may be the worse conference in football. Not BCS conference, conference period. My guess - USC finishes with another lackluster performance loss, going 10-2. Oregon State, the dragon slayers, finish 6-6.

How about Jacquizz Rogers? And who the hell names their kid Jacquizz??! More importantly, how does someone like that leave Texas to go to another school? I would imagine there are a few places that could use a shifty running back who dominated an impressive defense (Texas, Tech, A&M) to help stabilze their offenses...

The new Top 10.
1. LSU
2. Oklahoma
3. Georgia
4. Texas
5. Missouri
6. BYU
7. Wisconsin
8. Alabama
9. Florida
10. Penn State - their dismantling of Oregon State early this year in Happy Valley looks a bit more impressive following last night's stunner.

By the way, if USC doesn't fall out of the top 15 in next week's polls, then you can be sure the AP pollsters have their weiners firmly implanted in the Trojans butts.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Updated Top 10

1. USC - not even close. Can this even be debated at this point?
2. LSU - impressive win at Auburn with some Les Miles magic puts LSU above those who've yet to play a team with any significant competition.
3. Oklahoma - this week's "top 25" showdown with TCU should be a lopsided affair. We said the same thing in 2005, when the Frogs knocked OU off their pedestal...I don't expect the same this year.
4. Georgia - going to Arizona State and winning may not seem like a big deal to folks viewing ASU as a bit overrated, but wait until the year ends - you'll find ASU in a good bowl game, and this victory an affirmation that Georgia is the real deal. Still, don't expect a BCS title trip from the Dogs...
5. Texas - Play someone. Same for #6 Missouri. Still, both the Horns and the Tigers have impressive offenses clicking on all cylinders. Both have questions on defense. Come Oct 18, one falls way down the polls. UT gets the nod here based on their bend don't break defense. While we all wonder how they can give up so many yards, the fact is Texas ranks 1st in the Big 12 in the only defensive stat that matters - points per game.
6. Missouri - See Texas. Chase Daniels stats look great, but I could throw for 400 plus yards against Buffalo.
7. BYU - Demolition of UCLA will become more impressive as the season wears on. Until they get beat, BYU earns the right to be here.
8. Wisconsin - Someone from the Big 10 has to be in the top ten, most likely so that we can verify the fact that the Big 10 sucks when they lose. Don't be shocked if it's this Saturday against Michigan.
9. Alabama - They get one week in the top 10. They'll fall after the Georgia game. And they'll continue to fall with LSU and Auburn upcoming. Still, few teams have looked so good so far this year.
10. Florida - A beatdown of patsies doesn't impress me. I don't think Florida has it. As mentioned, they'll fall this year. 9-3 if they are lucky.

Picks for week 4:

Georgia -6.5 vs Alabama
Oklahoma State -16.5 vs. Troy

UPSET - Colorado should win straight up vs. Florida State. The Seminoles blow

Big 12 Football Teams as Pro Wrestlers

Everyone has comparisions between football powers and commoditites.


(Ex: Football teams as Potato Chips) I figured I'd try my hand at rolling today's teams as pro wrestlers:




Oklahoma - Hulk Hogan


Texas - Ric Flair


Texas A&M - Bret Hart


Baylor - Brooklyn Brawler


Oklahoma State - Ted Dibiase


Texas Tech - Flyin' Brian Pillman


Nebraska - BamBam Bigalow


Colorado - Lex Luger


Iowa State - Doink the Clown


Missouri - John Cena


Kansas -


Kansas State - Rowdy Roddy Piper

Monday, September 15, 2008

Cowboys vs. Eagles

Tonight marks Dallas's 2nd game, first at home in the regular season 2008. ESPN, foxsports, cnnsi, and the like are prepping it up as a great early season matchup set to determine the outcome of the NFC East, with the winner having the inside track to the Super Bowl. Not likely.

Call me a NFL retard, but I just don't see the big deal about Philadelphia this year. Bryant Westbrook is the most underated player in the NFL, nevermind running back. But Donovan McNab doesn't have a reliable deep threat at WR, and an aging offensive line. They looked impressive against the St. Louis Rams, but I think I could grab a group of frat boys from SMU and beat the Rams this year.

Dallas looked dominant against a legitimate Cleveland team last week. One week a season does not make, but the Cowboys offense should have no problem against Philly at home. More important, I don't see Philly scoring enough to keep pace, as Dallas's D should shut the overrated Eagles playmakers. Westbrook will tear up Dallas underneath and with short to mid gains, but Dallas won't allow the big plays that plagued St. Louis.

Dalls 28
Philly 10

THE ohio state university

Enough. God willing, the absolute beating in The Coliseum USC put down on the sweatervest lovers from Columbus will silence the college football blowhards from across the country. I can only hope the bad taste Ohio State left in the mouths of reporters won't soon dissipate. Though I wouldn't bet on it.

I would guess that as the end of November draws near, we are likely to hear talk of Ohio State returning to the BCS Championship game for another shot at an underserved title. The fact is, and has been for many years now, the brand of football being played in the Big 10 could almost be described as vomit-inducing. Power-I running plays and short drop play-actions don't cut it in the game anymore. The rest of the country moved on to offenses powered by speed and diversity. Only people in the Big 10 still think teams should be dominated by an offensive line full of 350 pounders who can slap fat with defenses and "wear them down".

The problem, however, is Ohio State will likely finish the season without another loss. Morons across the country will see an 11-1 record, and wrongly assume that a 11-1 Big Ten Champ is better than a 2 loss Big 12 or SEC team. Scary. Worse, Ohio State could very well end up rematching with USC - another depressing thought in a season thus far full of many when conjuring up the Buckeyes.

Ohio State and the Big 10 suck. Let them go to the Rose Bowl and get pounded by some other team - fine. Don't allow our BCS National Championship game to be watered down again by a team whose hype has long outlived their production.

But you heard it here first - they'll make it back one more time...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Cowboys Game 1

The Cowboys looked pretty dominant in the opening season game at Cleveland yesterday. In fact, they looked eerily close to the team that rolled to a 13-3 record in the regular season last year, minus one piece: Julius Jones. And thank God for that!

Marion Barber looked good yesterday, but his inability to break away was painfully obvious on a few of his carries. Barber is still set on bowling over tacklers, as is his custom. The Boys might want to think about getting more touches for rookie Felix Jones, who on his first carry, snaked his way through the D to an 11 yard touchdown against the Browns. Jones can provide the spark and open field threat to compliment Barber's bruising style in a way that Julius couldn't. Barber's style of running should be geared more towards late game situations, when the defense has been worn down and weary from the steamrolling Cowboys offense. He already has the money and the contract, so I am not sure moving him from the starting role would be considered a "demotion".

Jones (Felix) and Barber can form one of the most devestating running attacks in all of football, provided Tony Romo can keep defenses honest with his arm (I think throwing for 320 yards might do the trick), so long as Wade Philips and Jason Garrett are willing to use both backs to their strong suits.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Notre Dame Bashing #1 of 2008 Season

With about 1:24 in the 2nd quarter, Notre Dame, the kings of college football, are locked in a battle with San Diego State University. And Charlie Weiss looks REALLY fat in HD.

Speaking of HD, the game of the afternoon thus far has been Cincinatti at Oklahoma, a 21-13 affair currently at the half. ABC and ESPN have, in their infinite wisdom, decided not to air this game in HD. Keep your eyes on this throughout this year - most Big 12 regional games will NOT be broadcast in HD. Our commentators are usually Ron Franklin and some schmo with him. Those of you in Texas, Oklahoma, or the surrounding areas looking to buy an HD tv for the football season, don't bother. Apparently, ABC doesn't think enough of us to bless us with HD broadcasts for our games. Strange.

And yet, I can watch Charlie Weiss get sweaty man boobs as he rolls off the field at halftime over on NBC. As a friend of mine asked, "Do you think Weiss hides his playbook under his moobs?"

Stupid ABC HD assclowns.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Weekend Picks

Well hello. Long time no type. I missed my preseason picks for the top 10 in College Football. I'll go ahead and retroactively pick my top 10 teams following Week 1 (which makes more sense than guessing my picks based on everyone else's predications)

1. USC - a trip to Charlottesville may not raise eyebrows across the country, but the fact is the Trojans traveled across country to play a BCS team away, and pounded the living snot out of New Year's Day bowl team from '07. Kudos.

2. Ohio State - based on nothing they did against Youngstown State. I choose to ignore the injury to Beanie Wells because I want a #1 vs #2 matchup next Saturday night. (at least I am honest)

3. LSU - Defeating a defending national champion by 30 plus points in impressive. Just ask Michigan...

4. Georgia - What is the big deal about this team? Lots of pro talent, but much of it unproven. QB Matt Stafford set a personal high with a mid 200 yard passing day - and all I have heard from pundits is about his greatness. For now, a team finishing 10-2 in '07 earns a #4 ranking for bringing back 18 starters. Reality will set in - expect a "dissapointment"

5. Oklahoma - Only lightning stopped the pouding of Chatanooga last week. They'll trip up once this season, but will be the class of the Big 12 come December. Of course, another BCS chokejob lies in wait.

6. Missouri - They looked good againt Illinois. Oh wait - I forgot about their defense. Illinois and Juice Williams are talented, to be sure, but a team from the Big 10 scoring 42 points should raise eyebrows to Missouri fans. Facing the likes of Texas and (potentially) Oklahoma this year will surely drop the Tigers to the Holiday or Cotton Bowls. For now, a big win over a top 25 team earns the spot above Texas.

7. Texas - Defeating a defending conference champion by 40 plus points: impressive. Giving up 150 plus passing yards in the 1st quarter - not so much. Still, if QB Colt McCoy can pass for 200 and run for 100 yards like his predecessor, Vince Young, expect Texas to spoil some dreams of national title contenders on their way to a BCS birth.

8. West Virginia - Pat White throws for 5 TD?! Keep this up, and you might find WVa in a BCS title game as a sleeper. Wouldn't that be great vindication? RichRod hauls off to Michigan, only to lose his career opener at home, and his former team sneaks into the national championship. Wouldn't surprise me - especially with a worse-than-normal Big LEast.

9. Florida - I still don't think Urban Meyer has it. His championship team of 2006 was built on the defense left to him from Ron Zook. His gimmicky offense will be beat by speed. The spread offense which has manifest itself on the college landscape is a fad - once people realize that 9-4 at Florida gets you fired, the Meyer inspired trickery doo doo that has invaded our game will fade into black.

10. East Carolina - You beat a top 20 team as a double digit dog, you get a chance to crack the top 10 for this week. You beat W.Va, and it's likely that everyone else may see the light. This team brought back a plethera of starters from its Hawaii Bowl Champion team of 2007 - without a devestating nonconference schedule, they'd be the talk of BCS Buster of 2008.

In addition, these teams will flounder in 2008. You read it here first - these teams will NOT live up to expectations.
1. Texas Tech
2. Georgia
3. Alabama
4. Clemson (that's cheating, I know)
5. Kansas
6. Florida

This weekend's guarantees:

Texas -26.5 at UTEP
Texas Tech -10.5 at Nevada